I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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