went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
