yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize