I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
