Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
there is glitter all over my balls
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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