I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
