Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
