11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
