Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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