Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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