The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
