dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize