I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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