Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize