I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
