How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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