Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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