just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
