stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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