ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
