I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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