you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
