I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
