thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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