It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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