There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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