trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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