He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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