The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
