he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
