he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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