Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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