i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize