i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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