If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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