I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
