I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
