If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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