I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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