How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
