go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i came on her dog
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
