I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
