dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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