Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
