i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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