I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
