I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
