This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
