THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
