I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
