They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
