i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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