i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
