He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize