just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
