Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
