GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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