i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
