Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
