he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
