sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my liver is dry heaving
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
