Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize