youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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