Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize