So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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